Tuesday, March 22, 2011

pay for your sins....

Yesterday, i was feeling a bit down (and exhausted from working something like 20+ hours in 30 hrs time), and decided to partake in some retail therapy.  as i went in and out the stores, i approached rite aid to get some toiletries.  as i head in some older man approached me and tried to say something to me....he had - what appeared to be - a bad stutter or some kind of speech impediment.  he didn't make any sense.  there were merely sounds and no actual intelligible words heard.  i looked at this man as if he was a freak, and undoubtedly gave him a very stank look.    (this area - as most of my town - is known to have a lot of street beggars or whatever the PC title is these days.....they are very common.)

as i walked around rite aid, i started to think......gee, that was a really mean look i gave that guy.   i could have chosen to just walk away, there was no reason for the nasty look i gave him. it was really unkind. damn, i'm a real fucking jerk. 

i finished up my purchases at the store, and get $5 back from the clerk.  i leave the store and looked around for my stuttering friend.  i saw him & handed him the $5.  he tried to utter out something.  i just winked at him and walked away.

i didn't do it to be kind to the man.  i did it cause i felt like a jerk, and needed to right that wrong.  but still it didn't.  all i was doing was paying for my sin......

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